fredag 10 juli 2009
.I Hate Dating.
Weell, I dont have any excuses for myself.... Were to start?
I am too much.
I like him.
He seames...nice.
Like he has a good heart.
But I am afraid.
I know I wont let him come to close for long.
If I will evan let him.
Yesterday...well things got a bit further then I planned.
We didnt go all the way.
But I was just not redy.
Evan it was nice, it was too fast.
I hate dating...
I miss having somebody to belong to,
to feel safe and comfortable with.
To have somebody that it feels good with alredy, that you work with.
I hate "trying".
To date sucks, I wish I could just meet somebody that you become close friends with first so that the love comes naturly after a while... Thats nice...
Love
torsdag 9 juli 2009
<3
My date yesterday was nice, he seames like a very nice guy... I liked him.
I could be relaxed with him and I laughed a lot, probably the best date I hav been to.
We had Sushi and after we went to the Cinema, I got to choose :P . So of course (you know am a nerd) I choose Ace Age 3 in 3D. He was not too happy about it, but was okay! :P
In the cinema it was very cosy.
Only thing is he had a quit diffrent child hood, which has made him...fine I wont say cold! But I guess he is not too sentimental!
And this way I am a bit afraid of, dont think I would be able to handle this well.
On my way home...fuck, again Emma is gonna kill me.
When I was walking from the Subwaystation, one guy (african) that was walking in same direction as me starts to talk to me. He seamed nice, very respectful.
And then...of cooouuuurse, he tells me he is from Gambia. Evan from the same tribe as Demba!
In this moment half of me wanted to just run.
But i didnt. I smiled, and I greated him in his languge and laughed at his suprised face.
I cant help it! There is something with africans that I need now! They have a way of being that makes me feel calm, happy and more alive. It's hard to explain.
And I miss Africa so much...so much.
But I swear we will be nothing! We wont! Really! '
...did I by the way mention we are meeting up later today...?
(for those who dont know me I am everything but a rasist, but yes, I dont want to only cuz of where he is from. I tried ones evan though everybody was warning me. I am just NOT going through that pain again...)
I just also wanted to have some friends in my new neighberhood and you know...I just wanna be their babygurl that I was in Zambia...
I miss that too.
I miss my crew....Biggie, Cavello, Diva, Motorcycle and Paul.
Am thinking about you guys every damn day. Much love to you.
I could be relaxed with him and I laughed a lot, probably the best date I hav been to.
We had Sushi and after we went to the Cinema, I got to choose :P . So of course (you know am a nerd) I choose Ace Age 3 in 3D. He was not too happy about it, but was okay! :P
In the cinema it was very cosy.
Only thing is he had a quit diffrent child hood, which has made him...fine I wont say cold! But I guess he is not too sentimental!
And this way I am a bit afraid of, dont think I would be able to handle this well.
On my way home...fuck, again Emma is gonna kill me.
When I was walking from the Subwaystation, one guy (african) that was walking in same direction as me starts to talk to me. He seamed nice, very respectful.
And then...of cooouuuurse, he tells me he is from Gambia. Evan from the same tribe as Demba!
In this moment half of me wanted to just run.
But i didnt. I smiled, and I greated him in his languge and laughed at his suprised face.
I cant help it! There is something with africans that I need now! They have a way of being that makes me feel calm, happy and more alive. It's hard to explain.
And I miss Africa so much...so much.
But I swear we will be nothing! We wont! Really! '
...did I by the way mention we are meeting up later today...?
(for those who dont know me I am everything but a rasist, but yes, I dont want to only cuz of where he is from. I tried ones evan though everybody was warning me. I am just NOT going through that pain again...)
I just also wanted to have some friends in my new neighberhood and you know...I just wanna be their babygurl that I was in Zambia...
I miss that too.
I miss my crew....Biggie, Cavello, Diva, Motorcycle and Paul.
Am thinking about you guys every damn day. Much love to you.
tisdag 7 juli 2009
.Am officially running for love.
Today after work I went to Åhlens were I baught a nice calender (really need one now for work) and things for my appartment. On my way back home I couldnt keep myself, I went into the bookstore and baught 4 more books about Africa. Cant wait to digg in!! 
Feel a bit stupid also that am talkin to and meeting up wit diffrent people at the same time but I guess thats what you gotta do when you are single. Will anyway not go far wit none of them until I am sure of what I want. I know I aint playing wit them or anything, but I guess I wouldnt enjoy telling them about it...but besides if they'd ask I would not lie. I know maybe it's a bit silly but I cant help feeling guilty.
When I got home I went online and started chatting wit a guy that am actully meeting tomorrow, he is sooooo HOT! haha... I am quit scared of dating...but I also enjoy it. And I now I will be more careful this time. But I feel a bit worried about me running for love a bit too fast? My heart just healed, I finally found my peace. I am happier then I hav been for a long time. Am I really redy? Anyway, am praying I will find somebody that will treat me nicely this time...
Feel a bit stupid also that am talkin to and meeting up wit diffrent people at the same time but I guess thats what you gotta do when you are single. Will anyway not go far wit none of them until I am sure of what I want. I know I aint playing wit them or anything, but I guess I wouldnt enjoy telling them about it...but besides if they'd ask I would not lie. I know maybe it's a bit silly but I cant help feeling guilty.Hav to go, got laundry n then i will take my dog and mp3 out for a walk.
Love
måndag 6 juli 2009
Prenumerera på:
Inlägg (Atom)
