Tears.

In the first letter I recieved from my parents in Zambia there was a note, saying that my dog had been "tired" for some time.
That she was only able to walk a very short distance..
I got a little worried in the moment but after that I didn't think much about it.
Few months later when I was online in Lusaka, my sister wrote me on Facebook that my dog was really sick.
One hour later my dad calls to tell me that they are now going to put her to sleep.
It was a big chock.
I cried on the phone with my dad.
The worst part was that I never got to say good-bye.
I am still very sad about that. I never got to moon that I needed.
Now that I am back in Sweden in my parents hause I think about her more.
I talk to her sometimes.
And I imagen that I am touching her.
My family saved the ashes until I got back home. The 28 nov we spread it together outside the hause and by some bushes were Jonna used to searh for rasberries that she loved.
It was painful and sad..but also beautiful in a way.
The day I was going to take the flight to Zambia, when I said good-bye to Jonna...I was thinking "What if I will never see her again?" . But I just thought I was silly for thinking it and forgot it fast. I wish I would have known I was right..

I love you Lilla Bus.