torsdag 30 september 2010

Nu Vet Jag.

Forut var min drom att jobba for Amnesty eller FN.

Att vara stark, ha gjort lumpen, vara riktigt utbildad och erfaren.

Att kampa for varlden.

Har i Zambia fick jag en ny drom.

Under manader har jag tankt och tankt pa vilken drom jag vill folja.

Jag har varit frustrerad over att jag som vanligt inte kan bestamma mig.

Radd for att valja fel.

Det har varit svart att slappa min forsta drom.

Men nu vet jag vad jag vill.

Jag ar saker.

Jag har bestamt mig.

For varje dag som gar blir jag bara sakrare.

Jag kan inte tanka mig att nagot annat skulle kunna gora mig lyckligare.

Jag vill vara med Owen.

Vi ska gora en farm tillsammans i Serenje.

Vi har fatt ett stort land av Owens pappa.

Jag och Owen cycklade dit och tittade i veckan.

De ar sa vackert!

Inte for nara Boma och inte for langt ifran!

1 timme att cyckla kanske…

Nasta vecka ar ritningarna till varat hus klara.

Vi ska forsorja oss pa mjolk- och aggproduktion, gronsak-frukt- och potatisodling.

Och sa ska vi salja hons och kor nar v har manga!

Planen ar att medan jag ar I Sverige sa ska Owen bygga farmen.

Bada vi tva ska plugga, och sa ska jag ta korkort och jobba ihop pengar.

Jag vill bade plugga farming och nagot annat att gora vid sidan om. Tex sexradgivning, forskola eller sa.. Men da maste jag forst lara mig Bemba flytande.

Sen nar jag kommer tillbaka sa gifter vi oss och borjar varat liv tillsammans.

Jag forstar absolute om ni tycker att det har later helt galet och undrar vad fan jag haller pa med!

Men de tar inte alls galet och jag vet précis vad jag gor.

Nar jag tanker pa farmen blir jag lycklig.

Owen gor mig lycklig!

Fan vad underbart det kommer att bli!

Tank er! Ett liv utan daglig angest! Fy fan vad skont!

Tank att fa leva mitt I sa vacker, tyst och fridfull natur!

Jobba med djur..mycket kroppsligt arbete och lite papper.

Ett arbete som ger pengar, staten har inte ett piss med dig och gora.

Alla beslut ar mellan mig och Owen.

Ett “enkelt liv”.

Tillsammans med nagon som alskar dig.

Som du alskar!

I ett land som du alskar!

Iborjan kande jag inte sa starkt for Owen.

Det har vaxt fram sakta.

Owen ar typ den finaste personen jag nagonsin traffat!

Han ar sa…akta!

Han ar lugn, ger respect, han har varderingar…han tanker!

Vi funkar tillsammans och tanker mycket lika.

Han behandlar mig bra.

Kulturskillnader finns men dom ar sma och betyder inte sa mycket.

Saker som jag stort mig pa forut ar bara skitsaker. En del av dem far mig till och med att alska honom mer nu!

De ar ju bara saa Owen liksom!

Han har inga pengar, inget job osv.

Men det gor inget!

Han ger mig sa mycket annat som ingen annan get mig forut.

Jag vet inte vad jag kan saga for att beskriva honom.

Men jag vet att jag vill vara med honom.

Nu kan jag sluta leta.

Love

söndag 19 september 2010

Esther Wahome


Love

Jonna

Jag är så tacksam för de åren jag fick med dig. Och det blev ju ändå rätt många! Jag älskar dig! Du kommer alltid finnas i mitt hjärta.

Jag kommer aldrig att glömma...

...ditt lyckobjörnrytande.

...hur dina tassar luktade ostbågar.

...hur du började vifta med tassen när vi kliade dig på ryggen.

...vilket blindstyre du var!

...hur du osmidigt låtsades tappa godisen vi la pa din nos så att du skulle kunna hugga in kvickt istället för att vänta på vårt kommando.

...vilka dumboöron du hade som valp.

...hur du kom och gav mig en kram när jag bad om en.

...vad lycklig du blev när pappa kom och busade med dig.

...hur mjuk och len du kändes på huvudet.

...de gånger du somnade i mina armar.

...hur jag blev varm i hjärtat nar du snarkade.

...hur du nös och nös av avgaserna varje gång en bil körde förbi.

Jag kommer aldrig glömma dig Lilla Bus.


Go green for Life!

I have been a vegeterian now for 5-6 years.
And I can never go back!
I just cant imagine myself eating meat again.
If I wouldn't be a vegetarian for the rest of my life I would be very surprised.
It is not that I dont respect other peoples choice, to eat, I just cant understand it anymore.
Especially here in Zambia when I see the people kill and chop the animals by themselves.
I makes me close to vomit.
Join my religion! Haha
To me there are so many reasons to be a vegetarian.
It is healthier.
It is cheap. Compare the price from fish and meat to what you can find made out of soya, eggs or beans. Big differents...
To me I don't see the reason why to eat if I can survive without it. If I am out in the bush and I didn't eat for a weak. I will be forced to kill to survive myself. But now there is no need.
I also dont like the mass industry were the animals are given a lot of chemicals and are closed before being killed. And a lot is just thrown away.
To me it is also disgusting. I feel clean not eating animals. Eating dead bodies?? Yuuuck!
It is for me strange to eat something wich has been alive just like me. No need to feel guilty when eating.
To me the only negative thing about being a vegetarian is that everyone else is not. That makes it sometimes tricky! When someone invites you for dinner, at a restaurants and in shops.
Otherwise to get all the nutrition that you need through food is not as difficult as many people think.
Eat with viarety and take some extra vitamins and Omega 3.
Easy!
The crazy vegetarian has spoken! Follow her!
VeggieLove

fredag 17 september 2010

Situation in Zambia

Africa is were I want to spend the rest of my life.
But I feel so blessed that I was born and raised in my country.
Sweden has such a good developed system in society.
Good schools and free education..good health care..good job opportunities...everything!
Sweden gave me the opportunity to live my life however I want.
I feel blessed that I was not born in Africa.
To grow up here is very difficult.
To get education, to get a job, to build up your life is very difficult.
Lucky me am able to build up my life before I settle here.

The development of this country is going very slowly.
Actually I think right now it is going down, not up.
Cause at the moment they have a very crapy President (Rupiah Banda).
Total corrupted.
The Zambian people calls him "the tourist", since he is always out of the country,
traveling for the governments money.
And many believe (including me) that the president and the government is just putting the countries money in their pockets.
The government is giving out very little support.
And to stand up against the government is very risky!
Evan Rupiah continues to make the same mistake as the presidents before him.
He borrows money.
The loans is what really put Zambia in trouble.
They started many years ago when the oil price went up and the copper price down.
The copper mines was and still is, something that Zambia depend on.
Zambias economy went down bigtime, and as a result the current president started borrowing a lot of money.
The country is now drowning in debts.

Corruption is everywhere, it has an effect on the whole society.
If you don't know the right people or have money, you are dead meat!
Education here is expensive and they have fees for so many things!
Did you know that you can end up spending a month salarie only applying for an education?
When you completed you also have to pay to get your result.
All the time it seams to me as if the government is trying to squeeze out the money of the already poor people...
Then, to pass in the subjects can be difficult, for several reasons.
One of them is crappy teachers.
Though, girls often has a great opportunity to get the best grade without studying at all!
By giving the teachers some sexual favors.
Money talks too. As always.
Because of that, Zambia ends up having a lot of unqualified people working.
The most common way for people to make money is business, farming and prostitution.

In bussiness the problem is that everything is imported. Usually either from South Africa or China. That is making Zambia to loose a lot of money.
The chines people has pretty much taking over!

Prostitution is very common, almost everywhere.
Espacially in the compounds (Owned by the Chief, not the government. A big area splitted into small plots for people to stay. To buy a plot there is very cheap.).
A lot of men goes there for beer drinking and prostitutes.
To buy sex there is very cheap, usually the girls are taking sveral costumers per night to earn enough money.
There it is just a part of life.
In daytime the compounds are looking quit nice, but at night it is changing.
The place becomes dangerous, the compounds never sleeps.
The consequence is of course a fast spread of HIV and the percentage is growing.
It will take a long time to stop the spread.
Many are talking about that the reason is a lack of knowledge.
It is also true , but the main reason is culture.
At least 50 % can by know tell you the the way to spread HIV, the symptoms and and how to protect themselves in their sleep!
But the culture stops them from following it.
It is all very complicated, I don't even know were I can start explaining...
There is still many things I don't know, I am still learning.
Basically sex is a tabu but is practiced a lot hidden.
Cheating is common.
Guys cheat to get sex and status.
Girls cheat to get money from many different men.
Girls often give sex fast after proposal cause they are fearing that the guy will leave them for someone else. .
Girls are also often fearing to say NO.
And, in most peoples eyes sex is for mens pleasure. Not womens.
Condoms are here a big problem.
There are so many strange believes and incorrect facts spread.
Though, they are available.
But people do fear to go and get them.
If one part suggest the use of a condom, the other part will get upset.
Feeling accused of having HIV, of not being trustful.
And will question the other part if he\she is really loved.
If a girl is seen walking around with condoms in her pocket (being prepared) people will think she is a prostitute.
One reason for people disliking the condom is also because it makes it easy to buy prostitudes without risking to get HIV.
Girls are supposed to stay a virgin until marriage in tradition.
And it is shameful if she don't, though areas are becoming more modern.
In school it is not aloud to talk about sex or condoms before the students have reached the age of 15 years.
Before they only promote abstinence.
Basically in schools they teach that if you have sex you will get pregnant, be kicked out of school and die from HIV.
Trying to make the students fear, and they often do.
Though that is not a good way to teach.
If you encourage condoms, in their eyes you are promoting sex.

In prisons, the corruption is in control.
You can easily buy your way out, or pay for someone to be put to prison.
If you get arrested you can be put to prison, being tortured, without having gone to court.
You may have to wait for the court up to a year!
And then if your innocents is proven, you are released.
But the time you were there you can never get back.
And you get no money or apologize for keeping you.

The list of problems goes on...
But this is what I wanted to tell you about.
It is what I have seen, that is to me important to say.
Zambian Love

tisdag 14 september 2010

Lilla Bus 13/09-2010 R.I.P

My dog, Jonna, died yesterday.
My friend.
She reached 11 years.

Since I am in Zambia,
I was not there.
My father called me to say that they are now going to the veterinary to put her to sleep.
I cried.
But after it is like I cant understand that she is really gone.
So I am not very sad.
I didnt see her die,
so to me she is alive.
I cried again now when talking to my sister,
when she described it.
How strange it was to hug her body when she was not breathing anymore.
I wish I was there,
to say goodbye.

Goodbye Jonna...

lördag 11 september 2010

This Is My Life, My Friend.


Am doubting what I want with my life.
Doubting and doubting.
Right now the plan is that I will study farming and make a farm in Zambia with Owen, my boyfriend.
Before my plan was to work for Amnesty or the UN, quit diffrent.
Cant yet decide what is really important to me.
But soon I have to do it.


Next stop from Zambia, is probably Jamaica.
It will rock!!!
Will search for tickets this week.

Love