Good bye my lover.

Evan I before said I didnt want much contact wit Demba, he called again.
Everytime he does, everytime I hear his voice...I'm back.
It makes me feel so close to him, it makes me feel calm n safe.
But I know it doesnt work, cuz everytime I am also hurting.
I know I hav to leave him behind me.
But it is so hard...I said it is over like one thousend times now.
I feel so silly.
Is jus that...I was so in love!!
I was naiv enough to believe that it would be you n me always.
I thought that you would always be there for me, n I would always be there for you.
Never hav I felt so close to anyone.
I loved you so damn much.
I never saw it coming.
Why couldnt u jus hav been real??
I miss having you beside me so much.
Often I manage to pretend I dont care, but of course I do.
You will always, always, always hav a part of my heart.
I know it doesnt seam like it, but I came so far on the way to let you go.
It took me so long to get were I am now.
I am ok without you.
But you keep coming back...
You cant do that!
I will never give you the chance to hurt me again. Ever.
Thats why, I called you to say good-bye. Again.
It is supposed to be a final one.
A no-more-contact-at-all-one.
You cried.
I cried.
I didnt want to.
But I had to.
I'm sorry my stupid tiger...
In a way I still love you.
But I have to leave you behind me now! I HAVE TO!
Please, please help me to be strong enough...
Please! PLEASE!!!