I'm Sorry.

I found my way to live. Diffrent from others, diffrent from my family. Diffrent from the way people think you are supposed to live I guess... But I found what makes me happy. For years now I have been away from home (Sweden) a lot. I never ment to do it, but for my way of life I sacrificed my family.

Befor I left the first time me and my sister were so close. I needed her. I thought I couldn't live without her. We were used to be together always. We were one. Sisters forever. When I'd left i felt several times as if I couldn't make it without her. As if I have to go back. I forced myself to stay, while dropping a lot of tears.

We had a lot of contact. Letters..sms..internet and some phonecalles.. Same with my parents that I also missed.

But..we learned how to live without eachother. This time being away there were few letters, few sms and few phonecalles. I dont need them in the same way. And they don't need me. I love them, and I think about them. But that need, is gone.

It is awful. I feel like I am awful. Selfish. A betrayer. I left my sister who needed me. And my parents. They now feel a bit afraid to get close to me every time I come back because they know that one day I will leave again.

But I had to leave. And I still have to keep leaving. I'm sorry. I guess I have not cared enough about you. I didn't mean to.. I will try to do better. I'm sorry if I destroyed us. Things will never be the same again I guess... But I had to live. In my way. I'm sorry that I have such a way.

Forgive me.

This song I was listening a lot to during the time I left the first time. I needed to breake away. When I listened to the song I feelt happiness, exitment...hope. Now I feel it a bit heavier to hear it. Guilt. But it is a nice song. It means a lot to me. Hope you like it...

Love