.Update of my pathetic Love Life.

Sooo, again Demba seames to be back in my life.

If he will stay in it is the question, but I doubt it.

2 weeks ago maybe he called cuz of dat I called his friend to ask about the money he ows me.

Cuz himself he didnt reply my message.

During the conversation I started crying,

all dis is too stressful.

He is sayin dat he has done nothing wrong of course.

But I dont believe him.

And I am happy now, I found my peace.

I wont let him mess dat up for me.

We talked few times on the phone after that,

and yesterday we meet in town so that he would give me another 500 kr and later we would go clubbin. We talked quit a lot...

I was angry every now n then, bringing him attitude and stupid comments about his new girlfriend.

But...I had fun.

And I loved just being wit him again.

I loved pretending everything was fine.

Few days earlier my friend Emma asked me, so u dont think dat when u meet him your feelings will blow up again?

I said no. Silly silly Magda...

How could I forget the way I feel when I am wit him?

He is still somehow for me the only one,

I still love the person I thought he was and still want him to be so badly.

I want that person back.

This was not how it was supposed end.

It was supposed to be me and him always.

To date new people feels for me so pointless,

cuz I doubt I will feel like this for anybody else.

Nothing compares to him.

This night I was dancing a lot wit him,

I realised how much I missed to feel him close.

Our chemestry makes my heart beat faster n I feel so relaxed.

He says he wants to start seing me again.

When I am wit him after some time he makes me so weak.

My logic is no longer there.

It feels right.

He gets the power over my heart.

Next day I was crying a lot.

Because I would love to start seeing him again.

He was not just an ordinary crush.

What he made me feel I cant describe wit words.

I want, but I shouldnt. I cant and I wont.

But I want.

I want his words to be true.

Know its stupid after everything he did, I know I am naiv.

But I cant help it.

I'm a fool.

Love